How a voice from beyond pulled me back from the edge
People often ask how I became a wedding photographer. Mine isn’t the usual “born with a camera in my hand” story.
Back then, I was working as a graphic designer. I was in a dark place. Someone once asked if I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the truth is, I never saw any light. It was always just a dark tunnel with no end.
It all got too much. I was tired of this world—of carrying so much and never seeing a way out. I went to the beach, fully prepared to take my last breath. I’d completely given up and thought my story was about to end.
Now, I don’t believe in ghosts or spirits—but in that moment, standing on the beach, something happened. I felt a hand on my right shoulder. And in my mind—without sound, without words spoken out loud—I just knew the message “You are going to be all right”
I said out loud, “Granny, is that you? I don’t believe it—prove it!” And right then, lashing rain poured down on me from nowhere.
“It all got too much, and I was ready to end it all. I went to the beach, prepared to breathe my last breath. I’d completely give up, and was ready for the end of my story to come.”
Again, I felt the hand on my shoulder. Again, that same knowing message came: “You are going to be all right”. I asked again, for some sort of sign.
About a mile out over the sea, a small cloud broke apart and a single ray of sunshine lit up the water. My jaw dropped. I thought, “It’s not going to reach me.” But it did. The light moved over and stopped directly above me. A third time, I felt the hand on my shoulder, and once more came the same deep feeling “You are going to be all right”. I burst into tears. I felt one last touch—and the heavy weight I’d been carrying for years just lifted.
I went home and slept for a full day and night.
The next morning, that feeling hadn’t left me. It was like something bigger was guiding me. I felt a pull to take the bus into Dublin City. I didn’t question it. When I got there, I had this strange urge to take out all my money from the ATM. Then I walked straight into a camera shop. I knew nothing about cameras—but that gut feeling hadn’t let me down so far. I bought a camera, a lens, and a flash.
As I left the shop, something nudged me to head around the corner. I wasn’t sure why, but I followed the feeling. Just a few steps away, I turned the corner—and there it was: the Job Centre. Nothing special—except there was a poster in the window: “Photography course at Roslyn Park College”—the very same place where I’d studied graphic design. They had one place left. It felt like it was meant to be.
I went in, got an interview, and was accepted.
A few weeks later, a family friend asked if I’d photograph her wedding. I thought, “Is this the light at the end of the tunnel I could never see before?” I think it might’ve been.
Johnny now and little Johnny in the 80s
Granny and Me
“I no longer feel the heavy weight that was bringing me down. That day changed my life.”
I haven’t felt my granny’s presence again since that day. But I also haven’t felt the weight that used to drag me down. That day on the beach changed my life. To remind me where I came from and to stay grounded, my granny’s name is hidden in my logo.
Sometimes I think back to that moment and feel so incredibly lucky to still be here. I’ve now got a wonderful family—my wife Claire and our son Aaron, who I love so much. And I know in my heart that “I will be all right”.
The Turning Point That Saved Me
The weight was heavy, the world so still,
A quiet voice spoke, against my will.
Lost in a place where light couldn’t shine,
I thought the end would soon be mine.
But in that silence, a hand reached near,
"You’re going to be alright," it whispered clear.
The darkness lifted, the light found its way,
And I chose to stay, come what may.
Each step forward, my heart did heal,
A new beginning, a chance to feel.
The journey changed, from night to light,
And I found hope in the quiet of the fight.